How to Improve Intimacy in a Relationship

Intimacy is built through repeated moments of attention, honesty and mutual responsiveness—not a single grand gesture.

Talk about the relationship outside conflict

Create low-pressure time to discuss closeness, affection and what each of you misses or wants more of.

Broaden the definition of intimacy

Affection, conversation, shared rituals and nonsexual touch can all support closeness. Not every intimate moment needs to become sex.

Discuss desire without blame

Differences in desire are easier to discuss when neither partner is cast as defective. Focus on context, preferences and workable agreements.

Related: How to Talk About Sex.